Sunday, January 25, 2009

Just me?

I'm not sure. I don't think I should be the only one. But then again, if there was someone else who was like me, don't you think I would have found them already? I think so. So maybe it is just me.
Here's what I mean:
Sometimes I feel like I'm the only normal person out of everyone I know. I take that back, not person, but entity, in the emotional sense. I've learned to not to care about the things that used to get to me most. I'm so glad most of you don't know about my past. I was so disgusting and sensitive. But that's not me anymore. Which brings me back to my point; I think I've killed all those parts of me that were entryways to letting things get to me.
It's funny..
Everyone used to compare me to my brother. Being SO sensitive. And as time passes by, on and on, they seem to compare less and less. Actually, now that I think of it, they don't do it at all. Because unlike my brother NOW, I can finally let things go. I do more than let them go, rather. I actually forget them. I pull out the part of me that I always hated in people and apply it to my sense of emotion that would have normally pressured me into fits of complete depression and/or personal insubordination.
Ignorance.
I hate what I need to get through life happily.
Not the form of common ignorance that, let's say, preschoolers or racists have.
Hah, I just compared 4-year-olds to illiberal, prejudiced, narrow-minded nazis, for lack of a better word.
Mm, but as I was saying. Ignorance. My ignorance is the kind that resides in whatever enclosure embodies my sense of feeling. It's like, if I get insulted, rather than crying or lashing out, (although I still call for sympathy at certain times.. but shut up, who doesn't? no one DOESN'T want attention. which brings me to another blog, another day..) I just act like I don't even know what happened. I rarely use the words "fuck you," nor do I "talk shit." It'll hurt for a second, but then I'm usually over it.
Thus, compare how I feel to the quick removal of a band-aid, or a shot.
Boom. Ouch. Over.
Hm.
Oh yeah, but in those long-term situations, where I'm at risk for losing someone close to me, or something has a potential chance of disrupting my path of life, then GUARANTEE that I'm prepared to have a talk with you, or whoever is involved in the circumstance previously stated.
Oh dear.
I wonder how many people wonder who actually reads these things.
Oops,
one more.

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